Do the Sh*t that Scares You

“Do the shit that scares you”. That has been my motto for nearly the past year.

My whole life, I felt like I’ve stayed in this little bubble of sorts, this bubble being my “comfort zone”. I think most people stay there. Sure, sometimes we get out of that comfort zone and do something a little “scary”, but most of the time we stay in that cushy little bubble. We’re comfortable there, so why bother doing anything else if that’s working for us?

Sounds great, right?

Well, here’s the thing. We cannot find growth if we stay in our comfort zone.

I wasn’t too sure about this when I first heard it too, but now that I’m a little bit older (and hopefully a little bit wiser) I see the truth in that statement. If we confine ourselves to our comfort zone, we have no reason to grow. Things are working as they are. But if we dare to go out of that comfort zone, even just a little bit, that’s where growth takes place.

You know that thing you’ve been putting off for xyz reason? Maybe you put it off because you don’t think you’re good enough to do it, or because that goal takes a long time to achieve. Or maybe it’s expensive. Or it involves you doing something that gives you anxiety just thinking about it? Those are the things that are worth pushing yourself to do.

Public speaking. For me, just the thought of doing so gives me anxiety. I avoided any jobs that had that in the job description, and me being in the field that I am in, that really limited my options. I remember giving a speech in a class in college, where I was familiar with all of my classmates and I was shaking so hard you could literally hear it in my voice. Later, I remember accompanying a colleague on a public speaking engagement as her emotional support and cheerleader. Of course, one of the questions someone asked was about something that I was knowledgeable about and my colleague wasn’t, so my colleague nonchalantly passed the microphone to me. I answered the question, but my legs were very noticeably shaking the entire time. No, there was no podium for me to hide behind and it was very noticeable.

Fast forward about two years, and I decided I wanted to become a wellness advocate for doTERRA. The thought of doing a class intimidated me so much, that I became the queen of doing one-on-one’s, but doing a class just made more sense as you can reach more people more efficiently, plus the social setting was just a lot more fun. So, I planned a class at my home. I practiced the presentation several times. The day of my class arrives, my living room is full of people (one of my mentors was in the audience), I’m giving my presentation and my worst fear happens. The words will literally not come out. I tried to start the first sentence three times. Then the fourth time the words came out. Guess what? I didn’t die. No one even made fun of me. I simply continued my presentation and that was that. Even later I don’t remember anyone mentioning it. Of course I brought it up when I was talking about it later, but not one of my guests mentioned anything about it.

Guess what happened after that? The thought of public speaking became a little less scary. That anxious feeling is always there, but it’s less each time I speak. Since that living room presentation I’ve done a few public speaking engagements. I also got a new job where I give several briefings a week, to groups as large as 50 people or more, and I can do it without my leg shaking. Sure, I make mistakes, but I learned that everyone does. It’s okay. Most of the time our audience is much more gracious and forgiving than we are to ourselves.

You might be thinking “Well Joanne, that sounds good and all, but what if I do that scary thing and I fail?” Well, who ever said that failing was a bad thing? We (hopefully) learn from our failures. So, when that does happen, either we take what we learned an apply that knowledge to another attempt, or we move on in a different direction with that knowledge. Both of those are okay.

At the expense of sounding like a broken record, I want to say something again to make my point absolutely clear: it’s okay to make mistakes. It’s okay to try and fail, try again, and then fail again. That is all part of the learning and growing process.

And if you try and fail? Well, at least you can say that you tried, and you will go the rest of your life wondering “what if…?” Isn’t that alone well worth the risk?

The Universe Will Provide

I kind of decided to do yoga teacher training (YTT for short), for what most people think was out of the blue. I have actually been stalking my yoga studio’s YTT program for a few years, but always found reasons not to do it, like time and money. This past year, just before the deadline, I decided not to do it because of a shoulder injury. I had just had surgery 3 months prior, and had a very difficult recovery, so I decided to push it off another year. “Next year”, I told myself.

Well. I’m not sure it was due to the Percocet I was on for my shoulder pain or what, but one night in December I woke up and I absolutely had to apply for YTT training. The deadline was coming soon, but for some reason it just could not wait until the following morning, it had to be done now. So I on my opioid-induced high I went looking for the application, couldn’t find it, and then e-mailed the contact at the studio to ask for the application. I figured that if I were accepted into the program, it would all work out somehow (money for tuition, time, etc.). The next day I completed and submitted the application.

So why did I even want to do the YTT program in the first place? Well, I am a therapist and I wanted another “tool” in my toolkit to help the population I was working with. We can feel feelings in our bodies, they’re called “somatic symptoms”. For example, some people with anxiety can experience migraines or “stomach problems”. Others feel burning sensations going up and down their legs. I thought that yoga could better help me communicate those bodily sensations to my clients, help them recognize those feelings in their own bodies, and give me the tools to help me help them relieve those symptoms.

Little did I know I would gain so much more.

I met with the contact and was accepted into the program! I was elated! I only had one concern. Remember that shoulder surgery with the difficult recovery? I ended up with frozen shoulder and needed another procedure done. I couldn’t even lift my arm to a 90 degree angle with my shoulder. I couldn’t do most yoga poses. I couldn’t even do a simple yoga pose like downward facing dog.

In fact, I honestly thought that my shoulder would never get better. Ever. I’m not even kidding when I say that if someone at my gym asked me how my shoulder was doing, I’d burst into tears and excuse myself to go to the restroom; I couldn’t even talk about it because I was so upset by this. Forget yoga, I thought I’d never even be able to do things like wash my hair with two hands, style my own hair, or even throw a ball for my dogs ever again with my right hand. That injury, surgery, and recovery took that much of an emotional toll on me.

My YTT teachers assured me that things could be modified for me to be able to participate, and they were incredibly helpful in helping to find alternative poses that I was able to do.

I am so glad that I went through with it, because after my second procedure my physical therapists attributed my recovery to of course the insane amount of physical therapy I had to do, but also to the yoga I had been doing to supplement my recovery. Little by little I was able to do more and more of the poses until I did not even need to modify them anymore.

I no longer work in a clinical setting, so my original reason for entering the YTT program became moot for at least the time being. I thought that I would still have that tool in my toolkit should I ever return to a clinical setting and treating patients, so not all was lost. Then I was approached by both of my gym owners at separate times, with each of them asking me if I would be interested in teaching a weekly yoga class at my gym once I completed my yoga certification. I was elated, as I have a lot of respect for both of these men, I love my gym and I would love to be a part of the team there so I said “yes”. I am also now in the negotiation phase of perhaps teaching a weekly class at another gym. So you see, not all was lost, as the universe saw a need and provided for that need.

Life has an interesting way of doing things sometimes. I’ll never know why I woke up that night and absolutely had to have that application completed right then and there, after I had already resigned to the fact that “maybe next year” I should do it. Be it divine intervention, intuition, or even just a Percocet high, I am so incredibly thankful that I listened to that “voice” that night and took that initial step of submitting the application. Not only did I get what I was seeking in clinical terms, I gained some mobility in my shoulder back, a greater confidence in my physical capabilities, a greater confidence in my teaching skills, a greater confidence in my public speaking ability, friends and mentors that I know I will keep in touch with for the rest of my life, and a new passion.

So in short, listen to your instincts, that voice is usually right. If it’s right for you, the universe will find a way to provide.

~Namaste